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Help for Ari. July 8, 2013

Posted by Elizabeth Schechter in brother can you spare a dime?, can't stop the signal.
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I don’t usually get rabid about things… until they hit home.

This is my friend Ari. I’ve quoted from here:

My daughter and I need your help.

Just over three months ago, I escaped from an abusive relationship. My now ex-partner of two years, beat me.

He constantly insisted that I was stupid and useless, monitored every email account, geotracked my phone, accessed every call and text. During the last six months of the relationship the abuse escalated exponentially, and included an incident where I was punched in the head and ribs repeatedly.

It was only through months of very careful planning, waiting for a moment when my parents would be coming in from out of state and my daughter would be safe with them, and being lucky enough to have friends that offered to help when I asked, that I was able to flee.

On March 31st, I ran. I was able to find a place to stay with a friend, and due to some quick planning was able to get most of my daughter’s belongings and some of my own out of the house I shared with him. It was then that I found out that he had not only been beating and abusing me, but had also sexually assaulted my babysitter. This happened night she had an epileptic seizure and stayed in our home after being heavily sedated by paramedics that treated her. Both I and my babysitter filed injunctions (Florida’s version of a restraining order) against my ex. Sadly, my babysitter’s injunction was not granted because she had a panic attack on the stand and was unable to complete her testimony. My ex testified in this hearing that the sex was consensual, even though she was sedated.

Due to the recent sex scandal within the Lakeland, FL police department, the district attorney has been asked to review the sexual assault case against my ex –

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/florida-cops-caught-sex-scandal-article-1.1383107

On June 7th a Florida judge granted me a permanent injunction against my ex due to Domestic Violence. It is a two year long injunction (permanent means officially granted, not forever), but I can ask that it be renewed at the end of two years.

Despite being told by a Florida judge to stay away from me and my daughter, since leaving him my ex has harassed and stalked us continually.

· A few days after I fled, my ex called in a false missing person’s report to Orange County Sheriff department stating that I was unstable and refused to let him see my daughter. I was hiding with my parents at a hotel when he did this. He used the tracking information from my phone (which I have since had to stop using) to find our location and list it on the missing persons report. When the situation was explained to the deputy handling the missing person’s report, the deputy stated that he had been deeply suspicious of how my ex knew my location to list on the report – he’d told the deputy that “a friend” had informed him, but when pressed refused to name this “friend.”

· He has called Department of Children and Family services stating that he is my daughter’s father, and that I was on drugs and endangering her; I had to bring her birth certificate and clean drug report in to DCF to prove that he is not her father, and I am not a drug user. After discovering that statements he made to DCF were easily disprovable lies, the DCF case worker was so concerned about keeping my daughter safe from my ex that she did not even write the home address at which she met us in the file, writing “confidential” instead.

· My email address has been taken over, twice, by an IP address in Lakeland, FL where he lives. My Facebook account has been taken over, twice, by that same IP address. My daughter’s email and Facebook were also taken over by that very same Lakeland, FL IP address. During these times I was either in Orlando or in Houston, surrounded by witnesses.

· My phone has been turned off once, the day of the second email and Facebook takeover. Since I had set my phone as backup in order to prevent account access, he had to turn it off in order to get into my accounts.

· A blog of mine that addressed my past abuse and issues with anxiety, and PTSD (I have a PTSD diagnosis) was accessed by my ex, altered, and emailed to my entire social circle with the statements that I have multiple personality disorder and was having a schizoid break.

· My ex has repeatedly contacted my daughter’s father stating that he intends to fight for full custody.

My ex has no legal relationship to my daughter – he has no parental rights whatsoever. During the time we lived with him, he was a reluctant parental figure at best, leaving the care of my daughter to me. Since I fled him, he has suddenly become obsessed with my daughter, stating to my daughter’s father that he wants to have me involuntarily committed to gain access to Tamora. I’ve been assured by DCF, and by the attorney for my first injunction hearing, that there is no way my ex could ever legally gain parental rights. Even with this reassurance, knowing that this man has an obsession with gaining custody chills me.

I love my daughter, and her safety is the most important thing in my life. Tamora’s legal father (whom my ex insisted have limited contact with her) and I are on excellent terms, and we are working together to build a life for her. After listening to my former babysitter describe her sexual assault, and helping her bring charges to the police, the thought of this man ever being near my daughter again fills me with horror.

I’m coming here not to ask for help for myself, but for Tamora. Not even one month after being granted my permanent injunction, my ex has filed to have another hearing to attempt to appeal it. If he wins his case, he will be able to stalk Tamora and I without the threat of arrest, and in doing so find our location. It is my fear that if this happens he will kidnap Tamora. Every police officer, Harbor House volunteer, and DCF agent I’ve spoken to have told me that this is the worst possible scenario – that if he does gain access to my daughter, he will likely take her and run away with her.

I’ve been able to contact a lawyer to represent me in court, and help me keep my daughter safe. However, lawyers are expensive, and although this one has agreed to work for less than half of his usual fee, it is still more than I can afford. This is why I’m coming to you – to ask you to help me make up the remaining amount and keep my daughter away from my abuser.

I have scanned my Domestic violence injunction and attached it. To verify my situation I can share scanned copies of IP log in records that show my account being hacked, the missing person’s report, emails where my ex admitted abusing me, along with texts, Facebook posts, and emails that document his continued staling of both me and my daughter.

If you can’t throw anything into the hat to help her keep her daughter safe, then boost the signal!

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